When Love Changes Form
The end of a 29-year marriage, a song of letting go and an unexpected moment of grace.
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” — Alan Watts
Five years ago, my 29-year marriage to the fabulous Evelyne Pouget came to an end.
This was a time of great change for both of us. What had previously seemed like a lifelong commitment had morphed into something else. The transition was not easy, but necessary on a soul level. The reasons? Many—some known to us, some unknown. Most of our friends were shocked, as we were held in high regard as an inspiring couple and a model for what was possible in the realm of relationships.
And so it goes. Now you see it. Now you don’t. Everything changes.
To honor Evelyne and the process of letting go, I wrote the lyrics to the following song. I offer it to you now in the spirit of “we’re all in this together.”
I don’t know if it will serve you in any way, but I hope it will, especially if you’re experiencing any kind of major change in your life: the end of a relationship, a health challenge, the loss of a loved one, moving, financial stress, the imminent approach of death or whatever life has in store for you these days.
NOTE: During the time I was going through the emotional ups and downs that accompanied the end of my marriage, I had an urge to reach out to my long-time teacher, Prem Rawat, and ask for his advice. Of all the people in my life, he has been (and continues to be) the biggest source of strength, wisdom and comfort.
That being said, the thought of asking him for advice seemed like a selfish thing to do, given how busy he was bringing his message of peace to the world. He had much more important things to do, I reasoned, than responding to the end of yet another marriage.
This hesitation of mine lasted for two days. Then, with a “Hey, why not?” mentality, I sent him a message, informing him of my situation and asking for his counsel.
I never expected a response.
Three days later, in one of his online “One-2-One” videos, he responded. I was completely blown away—not only by the fact that he took the time to share his input with me, but by the immediate impact of what he said.
I have no idea if what he shared with me applies to your life, but just in case it does, I invite you to watch the following video. If you don’t have the time or interest to watch the whole thing, fast-forward to 12:34—that’s when he begins speaking to me.
How can you stand more firmly on your own two feet these days?
More about Prem Rawat and what he offers
Who is Prem Rawat and why does his work matter?
How has the practice of Self-Knowledge changed your life for the better?
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Awww Mitch - this is beautiful as is your song. Very moving. And love Prem’s words to you. I would categorize them in the “all is well” bucket. That is one of my favorite distinctions from Landmark actually. How we can go with the default we all seem to have come in with “something’s wrong here”, and choose “all is well” instead. It’s a profound way to view our unfolding experience of life. What happens when we feel gratitude for life unfolding exactly as it does and know that “all is well”? It certainly helps to have softness, love and compassion for ourselves as we move through difficult experiences. And if we are able to focus on all the magic and tapestry of emotions that have passed before, and move forward with grace and love —- what more can you ask? Kudos for you for having done that so beautifully, and also for sharing this meaningful piece. We love you.
Bonjour Mitch, I very much appreciated you sharing a personal experience, it makes the message all the more relatable. The powers of clarity and gratefulness are in the spotlight. Thank you!